Friday, May 11, 2007

Joblessness lead me to this

well ! there you go ... the title is self explanatory .  Boredom and joblessness have been 
my constant companions for quite some time now, i seem to be stuck in endless cycles
of eating , sleeping , barfing and staring into space ! Its infectious too, somehow
 conversations would always include "being jobless" or "being bored" in em' ! usually followed after the ethusiatic salutations ! often in the form of "wazzzzaap" and what follows is all too familiar !
i suppose its somewhat of a new tradition, and without knowing we try to convince the other
person on the line you're much more jobless !

why dont you do something constructive you say ? well , i did try everything ! but all make up for a temporary relief sorts ! once the movie stops playing or you come back home you're back to square one ! Sigh ... life really seems to drag along these days !

Ah... on the brighter side ( its all relative :p ) i have a few deadlines to meet , things to fix, 
a medical to be taken, and as the summer holidays crawl towards you ideas seem to sprout out 
like never before ! This month there are movies to be caught ! things to be planned out !

i've come across this b'ful quote which goes like this "Life is a grindstone, whether you allow it to grind you to pieces or into a beautiful, polished stone is entirely upto you." made me think.

cheers  !



 

Monday, May 7, 2007

My Angel

after tday's episode , i sat down and thought .... and i felt i just had to do this !

i feel like a fish out of water , this place seems so alien to me . If one thing i've learnt at all its this , you never appreciate anything till you feel its absence. All my life i've taken small things for granted , like expecting food on the table 3 times a day , my clothes to be washed and ironed ready for me to use , to have been asked how my day was ,  to be taken care of.  In a little over 3 months , everything has drastically changed !

Left to live on my own, one fine feburary morning ,mum handed me the house keys. I was  a teenager over-joyed , free with a house to himself and nobody to trouble his "rule". Before leaving she asked if i could do this , if i could live on my own . I felt like i could
 handle anything. So i took it up as a challenge and looked forward to an unforgetable time ! 

I had my fair share of fun, staying outside till it was late, hanging out with friends, life seemed worth living ! my only problem was the daily responsibilities like cooking , 
taking care of my dog
but did manage to keep the house standing.

Have you ever felt like what you are up against is just that wee bit further ? maybe your fingers would just snick the golden cup and then you'd rise your level and try to grab it  ? and no matter how hard you try it was just inches away from you !

Everything went down-hill from then on ... a house that refuses to stay together, countless bills to be paid , a sick dog that means the world to you , to cook and make sure you'd get something to eat . i sit here feeling stretched ! frustratred , happiness eludes me , i feel like i'm up against the wall and i had already lost the battle.

Then came along my 18th b'day and it just felt like another day . Usually my b'day are somewhat of a 3 day carnival , 
but suddenly the happiness i was feeling meant nothing when i couldn't share it with my mother 
the day was just reduced to a mark of my existence . I hated walking into an empty house , i missed my mother !

18 years of my life i took everything she did for me for granted . i realise for 18 years she worked so hard to make me not realize that everyday is a up-hill struggle.  I stared at a painted veil all this time, And no amount of thanks or even the biggest diamond money could buy doesn't seem to match up for what she has done for me . with mother's day around the corner , i think its time i made her feel like a queen !

Kudos to all mothers ! what they do is tougher than any CEO of any company !

and thus my blog tday is named fortutious uneartihngs , fortutious : happening or produced by chance; accidental unearthings !

She is my angel , constantly working on me.